I’ve been having a breakdown. The fact is, when you’re first engaged, it’s a great time, but you immediately put the mask of “Engaged Gal/Wedding Planner/Spin Master”. And it first, it’s awesome and every girls’ dream. But then, it starts to wear on you.
The reality of your wedding day sinks in. You realize that despite your best efforts, you can’t shoe horn your fiance into your dream wedding and you also start to realize some very big truths about yourself.
I’ve always known, to some extent that I’m a perfectionist to some extent. It’s not that I actually perfectly execute what I work on every time, but if I have any fear that I may not perform well at what I set out to do, it starts to eat at me. It starts to discourage me, and turn me off of the new project.
It’s one of the reasons I preferred academics to sports. I was always concerned I would never excel in sports, so I never gave it a shot. What a self-fulfilling prophecy that is.
And that’s where wedding planning has definitely shone light on my weakness where execution is concerned. I love my fiance and my family, and I really do try to not be discouraged by our monetary situation. But, wedding planning is making me anxious. It’s draining me, because when I think of everything we still have to pay for, it begins to stifle my dreams. It makes me worried that I won’t be able to executed the wedding I’m dreaming of, which just makes me want to procrastinate on wedding planning. And that’s the crux of the matter.
When you’re engaged, everyone wants a piece of the action where planning is concerned. The questions pepper throughout your day and you, as an “engaged woman/wedding planner” become a spin machine:
How much longer do you have? Why so long?
- Spin Answer-Over a year because the place that we are booking had a huge wait list and with my busy schedule, it worked best.
- Real Answer- We needed a freaking year and half so we could even begin to afford the wedding our family, friends, and each other wanted.
What’s your theme?
- Spin Answer- We’re just trying to keep it very organic and laid back. We really want to take advantage of the location.
- Real Answer- Jeeze- a theme? Seriously? This isn’t a costume party, and I’m sure it’ll come together, but unless David Tutera swoops in, the Theme is “just go with it”. You don’t need to know my theme to attend my wedding, it won’t make you a better guest.
Do you have a dress?
- Spin Answer- I’m still keeping my options open, after all I have almost a year left.
- Real Answer- It’s hard as hell for a plus size girl to find a dress in the Midwest. I’ve never been too down on myself about my plus-size status, but I’m so frustrated I can’t try on dress I like in a size that will give me a legitimate idea of how I will look in it.
These are just a few of the specific questions I get on a regular basis. I love Schatz with all my heart, and could never dream of not being with him. But honestly, wedding planning is enough to make me never want to get married again.
What are some of the questions you hated to get as an engaged woman, and how did you “spin” them?